Killing The Fake Baby

So the middle of this year, my HCTC class were assigned a fake baby. Now you would think someone in an early childhood class would be experienced with babies, especially a fake baby, and that they would know how to keep this small, plastic, human alive. Well... lets just say my luck was flushed.

When I was assigned this fake baby, I expected to be the perfect little parent. It would be fed and cradled and burped and loved, but when I took a 15 minute shower and walked back into Trevor's room, he is blasting music while the baby is screaming, and leaning the bottle against it's face using the couch as a crutch. WTF. After this, the child screamed for about an hour and a half, and I was just. about. over. it. The next day, I had to take my cute screaming child on a college trip where it cried when I ate, and when I talked, and walked, and when it was cold, and when it was hot. I handed this child over to Olyviah who was all about that life that I surely no longer was, and the bus ride back was quite a journey! (If the lesson to this was to never have children, then I surely learned it!)

During volleyball later this day, Olyviah went to the bathroom, and accidentally flushed the baby's sensor, the only thing to keep it from screaming, down the school toilet. Lets just say that it ended the friendship for about five months. The next day driving to school, I cried my eyes out, hearing this innocent plastic baby asking for food with it's expressionless face. Once in the school parking lot, I covered the baby in coats, and blankets, even it's diaper bag. (This looked VERY bad from anyone viewing this incident). I locked the doors to my car and had to tell the office that there was a fake crying baby in my passenger seat, and to have them not have the police come get me.

Well... It was just about time for HCTC, and Gage called me to the office, and him and Aislynn confirmed (apparently!) that Mrs. Pangburn wanted us to snap this baby's neck so that it would die... and stop crying. So Gage sits in the parking lot snapping it's neck while Aislynn video tapes this horrific sight, and people watch us from the school windows.

Long story short, the baby doesn't actually die, and Mrs. Pangburn never told us to kill it! So I failed my assignment, but at least I have a funny story to share at a party someday.